


Into the Dark

by thewoman1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aging Dean, Cas outlives Dean, Grief/Mourning, Growing Old Together, Immortal Castiel, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 14:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13929276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewoman1/pseuds/thewoman1
Summary: To love someone is to watch them die.





	Into the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Listened to Death Cab for Cutie and thought of this

* * *

It was bitterly cold morning with rain. The weather seemed fitting for the occasion. Cas stood there in a black suit and his coat watching as the casket descended into the cold hard ground. He had turned up his coat collar and donned a hat that shielded his face. It was for the benefit of those at the service that did not know the truth about him. 

Sam knelt next to the tombstone, speaking quietly to the mound where his brother lay. He wiped away his tears and was helped to his feet by his daughter. Of everyone here, he and Claire were the only ones who knew the truth of him and Dean. Everyone else had passed on long ago. A pang of sorrow ran through him as Sam made his way over, leaning on his daughter’s arm with difficulty. In his youth, Sam stood tall and strong, but time had taken its toll leaving behind only an old and gray man.

Still wiping away moisture in his eyes, Sam placed a wrinkled hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry Cas. I know what he meant to you.”

“Thank you.” He murmured.

One by one, those whose lives were touched by Dean approached his grave and bid him farewell. Fellow hunters and people they had saved left flowers or mementos and trinkets. One left a small bottle of Dean’s favorite whiskey and promised to come back and drink with him again. Another approached with a child in tow and thanked Dean for saving them both years before. It was especially hard for him to see Claire’s frail figure as she gently laid a flower on the grave. He would always see her as the feisty, headstrong teenager who charged into every hunt, guns blazing.

All stopped to say a few kind words to him before departing, leaving him alone.

When everyone was gone, Cas slowly took off the confining hat and folded his coat collar down. If anyone walked past then they would see a man in his early 30’s, barely on the cusp of middle age. Seeing him standing at a fresh grave, they would assume that he’d lost his partner through some tragedy.

They would never guess that he was a celestial being, billions of years old or that his love had died of old age. They had been together for fifty long and happy years. A human lifetime.

And now he was gone from him forever. 

* * *

 

“I want us.” Dean had told him. “Just you and me.”

He had only looked at the other man, not daring to think what he hoped Dean meant. “I don’t understand.”

“I mean…. the lovey dovey stuff and all.” Dean said gruffly. Seeing the confused look on his face, he sighed. “What I’m saying is…after all the shit we’ve gone through, I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be with.”

“You mean…” A million thoughts had raced through his head and he eventually found his tongue. “You mean…you and me?”

“You and me.” Dean said. “Together.”

His Grace within him glowed with unrestrained joy.

“But I can’t live that apple pie life. That’s for Sammy, he’ll find a nice girl and settle down with a bunch of kids but me?” Dean wore a very slight smile. “I belong on the road, ganking monsters, saving people. It don’t feel right otherwise…” He looked at him then.“I know I’m being selfish but will you stay with me?”

He wanted to say yes. Everything within him ached with need, but he knew of the pain that lay ahead for them. “Dean…I’m not an angel anymore, but I won’t age the same way you do.” He swallowed, heart in his throat. “Things won’t be easy.”

“I know…” Dean gave him a wry smile. “They’ve never been. I know I’ll grow gray and senile before you do and you’ll…you’ll outlive me.”

“Dean…I-”

“It’s just that if croak tomorrow, next month or even in a year,” He said quietly. “I wanted to at least be able to tell you that…I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. But if you don’t feel the same way-”

He stepped in closer to the other man, silencing him. “I want to be with you too Dean.”

* * *

 

They’d gone in knowing full well how they would end someday. But he never once regretted his decision to be with Dean. He got to spend 50 years with the person he loved. To him that was worth more than a millennia without him.

The years had passed and they had still helped others. They hunted monsters until Dean was too frail to hold a gun and Cas had gently moved them back to Kansas to live a quieter life. Even as they saw the end coming, they never wavered in their decision to be together. They were together and they were happy.

Hot tears trailed downs his cheeks now as he remembered how Dean told him one last time he loved him and had passed peacefully holding his hand.  

* * *

 

He felt a presence behind him and he knew who it was. “Hello sister.”

“Castiel.” The other angel answered him. Hannah was in a female vessel, one that bore a striking resemblance to her previous one long ago. She wore a grey business coat and slacks, her curly brown hair loose. “It’s been a long time.”

He nodded. “Yes. I suppose it has.” The final confrontation between him and his siblings had been fierce and explosive. Heaven had wanted Dean’s head for all that he unleashed upon the Earth. They blamed him for the release of Lucifer, the Apocalypse, and the Darkness.

And he had fought. He’d be damned if he let Heaven lay even a finger on his charge. Cas knew that Dean was a good man and deserved a peaceful life. The other angels had relented only after months of bloody conflict, but as punishment for his final act of rebellion, they banished him from Heaven. Permanently.

“I tried to tell you this long ago, brother.” Hannah said, “Love is not for us. We’re supposed to be above it all. We were meant to be God’s tools and nothing more.”

“I’m no angel.” He reminded her. “Not anymore. Our brothers made that clear.”

“You were forgiven.” She said, quietly. “All you had to do was forget the Winchesters and Heaven would’ve let you back with open arms.” She shook her head in confusion. “Why did you pick him? Why do you always pick him?”

“I love him.” Cas simply said. “I always have.”

“You’re a fool, loving a human could only end in tragedy.”

“You still don’t understand, sister.” He said sadly. “Love is the greatest gift Father created and no amount of pain or sadness will take away the happiness I had with Dean. He will always be with me and I with him.” He took out a small vial from within his coat pocket. Bright blue mist glowed within.

The other angel looked shocked “Castiel, what have you done?”

“Something necessary.”

“Don’t say that.” Hannah hurriedly lifted a hand to him. “Please…I can take you home. Our brothers and sisters… they said they’ll welcome you back.”

“No.” Cas said firmly. “My place is with Dean. Always.”

He gave her the vial containing his Grace and walked away.

* * *

 

He stood alone on a high cliff looking down into the abyss. There was no world for him without the light of his love and his arms to give him warmth. Life meant nothing to him if it had to be spent without Dean. If his Father was merciful, perhaps they would meet in the afterlife.

“Let’s be together again.”

He took a single step and fell into the darkness below.

* * *

 

END

**Author's Note:**

> "But I'm thinking of what Sarah said:  
> That love is watching someone die" -Death Cab for Cutie
> 
> I'm always open to feedback and suggestions.
> 
> -the woman


End file.
